I remember this feeling of always feeling like I needed to be doing something to get better.
I tried learning Mandarin, taking Khan academy classes about molecular biology, and podcasting about politics — all of these things I legitimately tried to do with very little success.
Time is by far our most precious resource. So when I was sitting at home, I felt time slipping and that I needed to do something productive.
As I forced myself into different activities, I never really mastered and grew at anything. This was because I was chasing things I thought I should be doing.
China is becoming a global super power so I thought I should learn Mandarin.
I thought having a better understanding of biology by taking Khan academy classes on it would help me accomplish more in the biotech field.
Political events were happening in 2020, so I thought I should start a podcast about them.
But, the reasons these were short lived was because I felt like I should be doing these things based on the external world.
In the last few months, I’ve been so content with:
Writing, working out at DMN8, volleyball, hanging with friends, poker, startup investing, supporting HyperGuap and growing at eGenesis.
I haven’t had this urge that I always needed to be doing something productive. Yet, I’ve been accomplishing more than I ever have. I am also happier and less stressed in the process.
What I am starting to realize was instead of forcing myself into doing things with my free time, I am spending my time on things I truly want to do.
While doing things that genuinely sound fun to me — I’m finding everything is falling into place. As I choose how I want to spend my time more often, it becomes a positive feedback loop of continually doing things that I want to do instead of what I should be doing.
It reminds me of the saying:
How you do one thing, is how you do everything.
My life was moving from forceful and hard to intentional and easy.
With that said, I’ve still been looking for a few more things to fill my time on a consistent basis. But, I feel more intentional as I decide what I want to do next instead of throwing myself into what I should be doing. I’m being patient with it. :)
Whatever I decide to fill more of my time with, whether that’s trying to learn Spanish, or picking up salsa dancing with Elana, I am going to really want to do it. Because when I really want to do something, I’ll do it.
Because truly wanting something unlocks your inner child and that’s powerful.
It’s not any superficial reasons based on the world externally. It’s purely driven internal. It’s what sounds like fun. It’s your favorite game, it’s your favorite TV show, or hanging with your bestfriend.
Whenever we pick up new things in life or try to decide on how to spend our free time, we should try to not let the external world pull us in too many directions before we look inward and ask ourselves:
What sounds like fun? What do I really want to do that will be a good time?
I’m sick of starting and stopping so many little things. There is a time for that. An exploration phase (which is a separate discussion). But what I’m interested in doing is becoming more masterful at things, and the only way to achieve mastery is through consistency. And the only way you’ll be consistent is, is if you really want to do it.